Book Review : The Spectacular Now

I recently got this book as a gift from one of my friends and I found it pretty typical. But it had a tiny twist into it though.
Well, from the introduction, we understand that he's not your average good guy and it seems he'll find the perfect girl to end all his delimna but nope, it turns out that its more like a loner-about life type book. About a man who knows only to hurt and get hurt and learns that he can't change and thus, to protect others from the trouble he tries to erase his very existence. The story seems incomplete somehow. And that about sums it up. Really. It does.

Youth is wasted on the young.

This song makes me go asdfghjkl (terms used to show i-go-crazy-over-this)

Hello! Long time since I've updated. Life has been very hectic, kidding, it has been boring and boring makes me lazy and plus, I hardly get to touch the lappy.
I've been thinking of writing a book review but that got canceled out cause' I got too lazy.
I went to a recording studio for the first time, the choir club was asked to do a recording of our School Anthem. It's nothing special but I like to brag about it.
I've been focusing a lot on breakup songs because they fucking rule.
I'd suggest these two babies :- Like a fool (Keira Knightley) and Amnesia ( 5 seconds of summer)
Talking about Keira Knightley, another song of hers, Lost Stars, makes me go (again, I'm going to use that term) asdfghjkl.
But that line : God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young ( and though the usage of God makes my eyebrows curl because it is said in the Bible, do not take the name of the Lord in vain and people may call me a hypocrite but I just have issues when God's name is used lightly)

The movie of these beautiful lyrics.

This line is of so much meaning. It defines youth and also shows how great it was but how Youth has a timeline and is desperately needed by those who have grown out of it
Youth is being carefree and I believe the lyricist is searching for that because the lines that follow that particularly say :-

"Please don't see just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies
Please see me reaching out for someone I can't see
Take my hand let's see where we wake up tomorrow
Best laid plans sometimes are just a one night stand
I'd be damned Cupid's demanding back his arrow
So let's get drunk on our tears and..."

-lets see where we wake up tommorrow- This line shows how we dont know whats coming next but when we grow old, our life becomes monotonous and we have no such new expectations. And if some do try to act young, people insult them by saying they are acting out of age.

-Please don't see just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies
Please see me reaching out for someone I can't see-
 These two lines are so important for people in fandoms.
The other day, my sister's friends came and visited us and they saw me reading The Fault In Our Stars ( the much applauded book)  and when I expalined to them about how much this book meant to me, they laughed and called me crazy for being obsessed with a book . I got pretty mad but I knew my manners, and that is to never let your guest feel out of place, my father had taught me well. I dont want them to think I am just caught up in dreams and fantasies, I want them to know I'm reaching out for something that I may never get in my life but I can get only through ficitional works of others. It seems dependent but isn't that what defines life : Inter-dependence. 
Yare-Yare. It seems I have gone a bit out of topic. Sigh, till we meet next time. 
Btw, tommorrow I shall engage in a fight as someone has accused my friend of callling her a "Prostitute", that girl clearly said " Come tomorrow and be prepared" Lets see what happens, I hope the argument goes physical because I'd prefer a fight over a verbal one because these local people (Assameese ) have a way with their toungues  that I can never understand. 

Me = Alaska Young

Besides the fact that she loves sex and smoking, Alaska and I are very similar.
We are messed up and wild. Friendly is not actually our character but its straight-forwardness. And we definitely are hurricane. The reason why I am proudly shouting it out that I am like Alaska is not because I like her but because I dislike her. I dislike her character because I find it stupid, immature, mean and haughty and the worst part of it all is that everytime I write these words down, they feel like a mirror that is reflecting me. But we can't change our identities because we were born like that and we will die like that as well *sniffs* but thats okay because we both have someone that loves us but are too stupid to love them back. Actually, when I think of it, everyone has a tad bit of Alaska in them, something wild that they are holding back. We all have that decision that we have to make that we can't let people know about because if they come to acknowledge it, they will tell us something to do about it and then the decision won't be ours anymore, it will be affected by others so we keep it to ourselves. But in doing so, we kick people out even though we want them to know everything because all we ever needed was love. So in the end, no matter how much I dislike Alaska, the truth is that she just wanted some honest fun but reality came in the middle but thats okay, because reality comes in everyones life and we never try to cope with it instead we give up the fictional life and go into reality completely.

YOU CAN SKIP THIS IF YOU LIKE. BUT I WANTED TO DO IT.

 50 facts about me.

1. I tend to cry easily.

2. I am a spoiled child, I still am.

3. I love to sing.

4. I sometimes imagine that what I am currently doing is part of a Reality Show named "HER LIFE"

5. I always do my best to bunk classes and thus, I join clubs that I'm not really interested in because I get to miss classes.

6. I get arrogant and stubborn when a person gives me too much attention.

7. I ain't honest, just straight-forwarded.

8. I hate it when a group of girls are laughing too loud and I'm not part of it.

9. Sometimes, when I am in a bad mood, I get really sassy.

10. I hate it when people tell me what to do.
11. Point 10 is so true cause if I were about to do something and then someone would tell me to do the exact thing I was about to do, I don't do it.

12. I hate cheerful teachers.

13. I love teachers who keep things professional and are not interested in my personal life.

14. I judge people. If they wear too much make up and dress up too much, I start insulting them. 

15. But if I see someone with a good attitude, I snap at people who judge them even if I don't know how their characters might be.

16. If I come to know a person likes me, I end up liking them too.

17. I aim for things that are possible for me, I am a realist.

18. Not praising myself, but when I study and understand it, I don't need to learn it. I end up with good grades but then again, I am too lazy to open my books.

19. My mom told me that if I shed off my laziness shell, and studied, I would be a topper.

20. I once got into a wrestling fight with one of my cousin bros, it was amazing, even though I knew he lessened his strength for me.
21. I love funny people a lot. 

22. I make friendship with serious people but I get magnetic with funny poeple

23. I hate people who aim for perfection.

24. I love to "whatif" things.

25. I am a free thinker.

26. I love to write quotes.

27. When I see odd numbers, I try to make them even by adding them.

28.I can't eat sweets.

29. I love butter.
30. Sometimes, I'd look at myself and feel awkward because I think it is someone I don't know.

31. I forget my face sometimes.

32. I don't show it, but I am a desperate girl.

33. I get embarrassed when I even think of dancing, even when I am alone.

34. Humiliation on me or others makes me cry.

35. I love to think but hardly have the energy to write it down.

36. I have multiple handwriting's.

37. I always wanted to be a bad girl but I never liked them.

38. I love being in water.

39. I hate bathing cause' it takes too much energy.
40. I hate going to school and I hate it when it ends.

41. I get easily hungry.

42. I want to share all my secrets to people but I dont trust them.

43. Curiosity kills, I learned that the hard way.

44. I hate losing things.

45. I hate it when people change places.  

46. I love beautiful people.

47. I find it interesting when I know someone hates me.

48. I do my best to keep my mouth shut, if i know there is a chance of me spoiling the situation.

49. I like to know things about people.
50. I get really scared I might hurt people and get insecure.

KINGS AND QUEENS OF?

We are all Kings and Queens of the thing we do best. When we speak of kings and queens, we speak of royalty, and royalty usually refers to ruling, which refers being powerful over something. And to be powerful at something over someone, we need to be good in that certain work. And thus, to be Kings and Queens of something, we need to be good at it, long process though? But I suppose if you aren’t that dumb, you’d know what I am trying to say.

So, let’s find a passion for ourselves so that we can excel in that and be royalty. My passion is writing or reading and if I were to call myself something it would be “Queen of Reading/Writing” FIND A NAME FOR YOURSELF TOO. J

It is nice to have something to drive you crazy. I know, I know, some people may say, I don’t want to be defined by labels but okay, no labels, then what shall you be defined by? I am not saying that we should label ourselves because that would be like saying, judge yourself by a book cover and we all know too well, that is a false statement. What I am trying to say is that let us have a passion so we can define ourselves because if someone asked you, define yourself and your life, you wouldn't say, “I like to eat this and that or say that I am a very humble blah and blah” Because that would sound narcissist in so many ways possible. And it would be much more appreciated if you would say, “I have this passion that drives me and I call it writing and all my life I have dreamt of being a writer.” Because not having a dream and living your life is like walking with no shoes, like singing with no lyrics, like living but not alive. Well, its not exactly necessary that it must be a dream, it can  be an aim.

And so be a King/Queen of *whatever your passion*, so that you can be royalty.

Not Good Enough

Well, this will be a personal post type.

This holiday I am doing nothing. Except for eating, sleeping and facebooking, literally.

This leaves a lot of time for me  to examine my life and think about things. And I don't think a person must be given almost two months to think about their life because to be honest, I have found many leaks in the pipe of my life. For example, I just feel NOT GOOD ENOUGH or up to the mark. I mean this world is a competition and I am losing. What the adults predicted is so true about how people get depressed when their friends gets more likes than them, thankfully, I haven't gone that deep into jealousy yet. But seriously, when people I follow in Instagram upload such wonderful pictures, I can't help but feel like I should try to do something like that but it's like trying to build a house with no equipment just because you saw someone with a mansion. Life is hard and what I need right now is to tell myself repeatedly, that I'm good enough for myself. And so I wrote this post so that I could make it clear, somehow thinking it to myself had no affect on me but I think typing it up will do a lot better. Sometimes I separate myself from others in hope that they will feel my non-existence and ask about me and that somehow cheers me up. These are very personal things that I do not want to share face-to-face because I find it naive in a way and also because I don't want people pitying me either. So instead I am blogging it out and even with no response, i somehow feel a surge f happiness thinking I've LET IT OUT. And due to this emotions now I finally understand what people mean when they say " Be true to yourself " or " Don't lose yourself in the crowd "

And I desperately pray to  find a place where I belong.

Fangirling

Sorry, I used the word girl, not saying boys can't fan over something but it sounds better and I don't have any other title for  my post. So~

We fangirl over different things but I shall be talking about fangirling on movies. After watching an awesome movie, you feel so glad but then again you feel bad because it finished and so, to relive the feel of the movie we fangirl, or fanboy. The first thing I do when I finish watching any movie, I post lines from it into my facebook ( don't we? )  or google it, find out about other peoples views and download pictures. I don't know if you do that but that satisfies my heart. And we, the fans, never mind, do we? That the celebrities don't know about our existence because we are pleased that they merely exist. Life of a fangirl/boy is pitiful but cheerful. A new update on a new movie that seems interesting, we move on to it but we don't let go of the oldies. That's fangirling. Here's a poem :

I search for all your details
And you never seem to fail
You're a rising star
But you're just too far

You break up, you patch up
You adverstise, I die
I dont know why I am trying to
write a poem, because I suck
and you rule, thumbs up
My oh my! You're so freaking glamorous. Kill me now :D

FANGIRL. Period.

This is how distracted my mind can get. also, in the end, i got confused so i added brackets to make it easier to read

For some pathetic- and yes, I LOVE the word pathetic but not for its meaning, well a little for its meaning because it describes disgusting and idiot in one word but mostly because of its pronunciation, -reason I like it when my books, my novel books- I have no idea what that was supposed to mean, -are not dog-eared but when they aren't umm. . New, yes, that is the very word. I like my books old and not because -says in a very deep pitched dramatic voice: I love history and old things because they remind me of the past and it makes me feel like my ancestors are sitting right beside ( which by the way would be totally weird because what if I was in the potty) me, but instead because it makes me feel like I have read them and they are owned by me and that I know every single word and by know I mean read it but I didn’t want to write read it because I had already written it, but it doesn’t mean I have memorised it all. I was to say only this simple sentence which was: I love it when books get old and why I love it but I ended up writing everything, well not everything because if I were to write everything, I wouldn’t have been able to write not because it would take a lot of pages but because-, wait, it might take a lot of space, you never know what they say,- I wouldn’t have been able to frame it with the correct grammar and write it with such formality. I wrote what I could with my little knowledge: whatever that means. But it's true isn’t it, if you were all to write what was on your mind, it would be like this. It is really great I can finally write-, and not that my hands were paralysed before -but because I have ideas not that I didn’t have ideas but when I opened up my document sheet file thing, my mind went blank-, which is a bit hilarious to me because whenever I open up to write something in the laptop, I always have to click on the option : Blank Document,- but now I can put my thoughts into word-, wait,  THOUGHTS INTO WORDS, that sounded pretty awesome, I did my best no tot use non-formal words but to no forgot-the-word. -So, TIW (thoughts into words, you made me write it anyways, how pathetic, yes I love pathetic, of me) what I meant by TIW (don’t make me write it again) is that since I am reading a book by John Green, he gave some advice in the end, saying the best way to succeed in writing is reading which is a coincidence because I read his very own book and got the idea to write and he gave me the advice to read and get the energy to write, well, I told you that already. Okay. That’s it. I’m all out. Ciao. Bye. Sayonnara. Mangpha.